Dear Dove Chocolate

Dove chocolates are like the fortune cookies of the candy world. Unwrap one, and you’ll find a message on the inside of the wrapper. Those messages are called “Promises,” but they’re really rather vague.

Dove Promises

Dove Promises (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“Stretch your body. Stretch your mind.” “Believe in yourself.” “Shut out the world for just a moment.” What do those even mean?

I’ve taken the liberty of providing alternatives to these messages which are more than inspirational. They’ll guilt trip chocolate lovers everywhere into being productive. You’re welcome.

-Clean out that junk drawer.

-Remember to renew your driver’s license this month.

-Call your mother.

-When was the last time you cleaned out your closet?

-Remember to smile at your coworkers today.

-Drink your milk.

-Wish the next person you see a good day.

-This will be your last chocolate. Go eat an apple.